August 13, 2010

I'm sitting on my sofa at midnight after a long day at work and school drinking a glass of Jack Daniels. I'm tired and can easily fall asleep, but I feel like I need to write something. I feel both pissed off and enabled to succeed in greatness. I truly do not want to become like so many people I see everyday. Sometimes I fall into the same snares that bind them, but I know that I can defeat it. The only problem is that I must be firm in my resolution to stand on my principles no matter what the cost. I believe that I'm too cheery. Some people say that its a virtue, but I'm starting to realize that its a crutch. Something that numbs me to the reality of injustice and pain; both of which must be embraced if one would ever accept reality. The trouble that I see in myself is that as soon as I walk in the door at work, I try exceeding hard to please people. So much in fact, that I lose myself and my resolutions in the process. I must find a way to overcome this weakness. Now that I (at least to a greater degree) understand what true evil is and where it lies, I must fight it with a vigor like none other. It must not overtake me anymore, even if I must become a prude to defend my beliefs. I must defend myself from the conversations that diminish a man to a crust of bread. I must become my own man, and not what others would have me to be just to please them, no matter how sad they may seem. You see, we all struggle and groan together in this brief stay called life. But it doesn't give us the liberty to try to cover it up. Instead, it must be recognized, confronted, and defeated... every day. And I aim to accomplish this in my life from this point onward. Goodnight.