The Beauty We Behold

Why is it that in the course of our lives we find little joy in our everyday surroundings? Whatever our lot, whether it be nurse, construction worker, or even the boss of a company; we grow tired and long to take a break from what we term "mundane." To put on a uniform of whatever sort or fall into a class of whatever flavor is a chore that's loathed and detested. We long to be freed from the slavery of work, or chores, or just beholding the same thing. For some reason, what we behold on a daily basis is a boring task that must be attended to with a quick and careless effort. If we had it our way, we'd win the lottery and drink champagne for the rest of our lives. But I find this to be folly at it's heart. To take this dream of living the good life from a realistic point of view, it would stand to reason that drinking champagne everyday and living the good life forevermore would become a mundane chore as well, not changing a thing with our outlook on life. I propose that it's not the scenery that's wrong, but our outlook on what we're beholding. We all are bombarded with what a good life is supposed to be, and it never aligns with how we're currently living. So we try to tweak ourselves to allineate our views with what we're told should be so. But we never quite hit the mark and thus find ourselves reeling from that old familiar feeling of failure. Our notions rule us. We play out scenarios in our heads where we're successful and famous and beautiful. Then we look in the mirror and check our wallets and sit alone in our apartments crying or drinking ourselves to stupidity. To mask our shortcomings, we sign up for another credit card and make more cyber friends on Facebook. But it never quite fills the gaping hole that eats up everything in our lives. And so we pretend that we need a vacation. We work so very hard and now it's time to take a break and live the good life. But even on vacations we can't find contentment. The hotel lost our reservations. We forgot to pack our toothbrush. And by the time we return to our mundane joke of a life, we're more worn out than when we left. And thus this vicious cycle continues with us never living anything close to a good life because we don't believe that we already have one. The people that we work with and all their foibles and flops go by unnoticed because we're too busy looking in the mirror to pull that last nose hair out. The beautiful architecture passes by us while we check our shoes for polish. And every other gift that the good Lord bestows upon us day by day goes by unwrapped while we're staring at a magazine of some model we don't know who gets paid to look like he's enjoying complete nirvana in his new pair of jeans. If we were to open our eyes and look up from our problems, we would see what beauty everyday is given for our enjoyment. All we've to do is unwrap the gift and give thanks to the Giver.

Aspiration & Deception

I've recently left the job I wanted to do my entire life. I've done a lot of thinking about why I got into it and why it was so important to me... I'm glad I'm gone. You see, it didn't start off in pursuit of vanity, but in the end that was all I could derive from it. And if thats all a person can derive from something, it's a dead thing that needs to be discarded. Solomon wrote that a man has many plans, but the Lord directs his steps. And truly, in my desperate attempt to console myself with vainglory I made plans that were fool hearty. I cast away truth and sound advice in search of something that doesn't exist. Now I'm older and still a fool. But a humbled fool am I. My lot at this point of my life is to put my hand back to the plow and slowly toil for something that will bring me nothing, but others so much. It's not a search for who I am anymore, but simply a sacrifice for those searching for themselves in hope of bringing them to the realization that there is nothing worthy within. We all must look without to bring the peace and fulfillment that we've been deceived into believing was within. There is nothing here for us. All that we toil for is utterly useless and vain glorying. If you believe this saying, then die to yourself and let the seed fall from your useless stalk to the dirt where it may be watered and grow to be a hearty plant. Not your plant, but another's.