Aspiration & Deception

I've recently left the job I wanted to do my entire life. I've done a lot of thinking about why I got into it and why it was so important to me... I'm glad I'm gone. You see, it didn't start off in pursuit of vanity, but in the end that was all I could derive from it. And if thats all a person can derive from something, it's a dead thing that needs to be discarded. Solomon wrote that a man has many plans, but the Lord directs his steps. And truly, in my desperate attempt to console myself with vainglory I made plans that were fool hearty. I cast away truth and sound advice in search of something that doesn't exist. Now I'm older and still a fool. But a humbled fool am I. My lot at this point of my life is to put my hand back to the plow and slowly toil for something that will bring me nothing, but others so much. It's not a search for who I am anymore, but simply a sacrifice for those searching for themselves in hope of bringing them to the realization that there is nothing worthy within. We all must look without to bring the peace and fulfillment that we've been deceived into believing was within. There is nothing here for us. All that we toil for is utterly useless and vain glorying. If you believe this saying, then die to yourself and let the seed fall from your useless stalk to the dirt where it may be watered and grow to be a hearty plant. Not your plant, but another's.