Cynisism or Realism?

There was a movie released a few years ago entitled "About Schmidt." Its about some guy that retires from working in an office all his life. Hes worked hard all his life for his retirement, and he finally gets to enjoy his retirement life with his wife of 30 years (or something like that). However, the first week of his retirement, his wife dies and he realizes that he has to go on for the rest of his life without her. A couple of days later, he gets a card in the mail about supporting some starving orphan in a third world country. So out of his desperation, he responds to the ad and starts writing a boy named Ndugu. Throughout the movie he tries to find meaning to his life through traveling to different places and visiting his family members. To make a long story short, he doesn't find meaning. There is no meaning to his life. He worked all his life for an empty promise. The great retirement that he'd been looking forward to all those long years turned out to be worse than any reality he could have imagined. This movie really hit home base with me. I love meeting different people, and seeing what they're like. I love to learn from them. When I tell various people that I'm in the Navy, they tell me that I should definitely stay in for 20 years and reap the wonderful benefits of retirement life. How wonderful, they say, it would be to have the government take care of all my needs for the rest of my life. I just smile and say that I'm still thinking about it. Of course, I don't want to offend. But, you see, reality has a funny way of sobering up dreams of grandeur. Lets say that a perfect retirement did work out. I would retire at age 41. And if I actually lived to be 120 years old (perfect world right?), that would give me 79 wonderful years of retirement checks to reap. Then what? How fast time really flies. I can remember before I could walk being pushed in the stroller by my Grandpa. It seems like yesterday. Time flies so much faster than we would like to imagine. But lets even forget about the limitations of time. Lets say I had 1000 years of retirement. It wouldn't give me meaning. In my experience, every time I solve one problem, there are multiple more waiting for me. I used to work part time at an upper class retirement home. Very prestigious, well to do people lived there. I knew one guy that used to be a rocket scientist for NASA in the 1960s. He worked on the first rockets to go to the moon! I knew another lady whose husband used to be Secret Service for 40 years of Presidents. If ever I could find someone to show me what real retirement living was like, it would surely be these people. But they didn't have the answer. If you've ever been to a retirement home, I'm sure you've noticed people in their worst conditions. Depression is rampant. Embarrassment is commonplace. Prestige is forgotten. My point: Retirement life is a lie. You retire when you're dead, and no sooner. There will always be pain. There will always be impossible difficulties to face. There is no rest in this life. There's a book in the Bible entitled Lamentations. It was written about 5000 years ago by a guy named Solomon. The book is all about how futile this life really is. No matter what great accomplishments we achieve, it means nothing. We will die, and we will be forgotten by this world. No matter what we try to do, this life holds nothing for us. And I think that all people, if they're honest with themselves, will find this to be true. I plan on going into greater detail with this subject in a future post, but for now I'll leave you with this thought: The only life worth living is one that is given completely to others. No vain glory. No self seeking. And here's the kicker: Its impossible to do. See ya.

The Butterfly Effect.

Self discipline is a funny thing. While its mostly thought of as a situation by situation choice, I believe that its an all encompassing life style choice. There's an old Chinese theory called the Butterfly Effect (Hollywood actually made a movie about it). It generally states that the flapping of a butterfly's wings on one side of the world makes a difference on the other side (there's a lot more to it, but we'll leave it at that for this blog entry). That being said, it would stand to prove that all things are interconnected. Lets take this huge theory down a few notches and apply it to our lives, namely concerning self discipline. While we all go through our peaks and valleys in life, some experience them more than others. Regardless of what level roller coaster we ride, I believe that we can maintain more of an even keel and see goals (or whatever else) reach their end without hesitation. How this is accomplished is by applying self discipline to every area of our lives. To take an instance of how this is to be understood, brushing our teeth 2 to 3 times every day (depending on your preference) makes a difference when going to work every day. Stated simply, if we can be disciplined in the small matters, then the big matters won't be quite as enormous as we once thought them. Understanding that every action, thought, deed and word has bearing on who we are and what we shall accomplish is a sobering thought. Nonetheless, I believe that as each of us understands this and applies it, a life of dreary defeats and depression can turn into a life of victory and optimism.

Why Do We Do What We Do?

I've recently took up listening to Country and Western music. In the past I've always shied away from it because I thought that it was cheesy and lacked the intricacies that other genres contained. Essentially, I chocked it up as a waste of my time. However, I'm learning more about myself and the world around me. In the past, I've never really felt a conviction towards the types of music that I play for a living. Not to say that I don't enjoy the music I play, but just that it doesn't have a deepness to it. You must understand that this realization has been hard for me to confront, but I'm trying to be more and more truthful with myself, and I'd like to have convictions for all the endeavors I undergo. In my limited experience, Country music contains something that most others don't: Life experiences. When I listen to the stories told be these musicians (older recordings mostly), I find that they pour their hearts out beyond anything that most people would be comfortable doing (especially men). Albeit, most the songs that I've listened to don't have screaming trumpet lines, or crazy guitar solos, but these songs contain (in my opinion) the essence of what music should be. I've realised that with music (not just Country and Western), one can really tell how they feel. It doesn't have to be about releases of notes, or intonation, or even how many beats per measure. True music (as I'm coming to realise) is a spiritual connection that transcends anything that any person can Analise or write down. Its a way to tell your story, even if nobody listens. If you were to ask me what the purpose of music was... I don't think that I could tell you at this point (there just might be too many purposes). But I do know that true music should always be motivated by our life experiences, and it should tell our story... even if the song wasn't written by us. We may all be human, but music can make us individuals.

Running, Running, and Running Some More.

I'm trying to get ready for a marathon in March. However, I've never ran a formal race in my life, and getting ready for a marathon is quite an undertaking. Nonetheless, I feel I must achieve this goal no matter how frustrating or discouraged I become. It's kind of like in The Legend of Zelda when you're in the sixth dungeon. All of those wizards are popping up and shooting you, so you kill a bunch of those plunger guys and moblins to save up enough bread to buy the magical shield for 90 rupees in the secret tree store and defend yourself. But, lo and behold, the wizard's magic waves make your shield that you paid 90 friggin' rupees for disappear! These kinds of situations can make you want to throw the Nintendo out the window. But, determined as you are to finish the game, you persevere! Maybe a few lives later you beat the sixth dungeon and come out feeling like you could take on Ganon with only the wooden sword and three hearts. By being in this situation a gazillion times (since I'm an NES nut) I know that while trying to prepare for this marathon, things will come up to try and kill my resolve. But I also know the end result of my efforts: Completing the Triforce and saving the princess!