The Internet.

I like using the Internet for research. If I'm curious about a certain topic, I usually hit up Wikipedia to see what it has to say. But I recently heard a rumour that anyone (yes, anyone) can edit anything on Wikipedia. So if I don't like what Wikipedia has to say about something, all I have to do is hit the edit button and make a change. Ridiculous! This changes everything, you see, because Wikipedia is one of the most used sites on the Internet, and it can be changed. This begs the question, what else can be easily tapped into and changed? I remember my grandparents had the Encyclopedia Britannica when I was a kid. Obviously, if I wanted to make a change I'd have to grab some white out. And I would know it was changed! People of note are using Wikipedia in their everyday research to decide things for our country, the world, and whatever else. And... it might be a flat out lie that somebody changed. How do you like that? I think I might go and invest in an old encyclopedia just like my grandparents had. It also changes my views on the Internet as a whole. I might sound paranoid, but if that much access is granted without some form of security, then we've all been duped! Think about it.

MTV

I just got back from my niece's birthday party. Shes a teenager and she had a bunch of her friends over. They all wanted to watch some show called "Jersey Shore" on MTV. I don't have cable at my house so I didn't know what to expect. It really blew me away. The episode that I watched had two guys in their early twenties in a reality show type setting. One of them complained that he was leaving or something and he needed a girl. So both of them went and got two prostitutes, took them back to their apartment, and proceeded to have intercourse with them. One of the girls didn't want to because she was already in a relationship, so the guy took her out of his room and told her to leave. The other guy went ahead and had intercourse right in front of the camera (of course it was under the sheets... kids, you know). This is disgusting, and it is a total outrage that parents are letting their children watch this smut! I only got a taste of what is relayed through the television to children tonight. I'm really glad that I don't have cable, and I intend to keep it that way. We are training our kids to be everything that they shouldn't, and it needs to stop. Otherwise, we're going to cease to be a nation, because you see, they are the future of this country. They are our investment in the future, and if we neglect to raise them properly, then we will rot from the bottom up. Please, if you're reading this, make a difference and stop this propaganda whenever it is in your power to do so. If you don't, then you're just as guilty as the offending party.

Deleted My Facebook Account.

I'm tired of being connected to everyone in the way that Facebook provides. Its easy to hurt somebody because of the lack of sincerity on it. Not only that, but its fake. People don't really say what they mean, its just a way of making somebody feel like a movie star. As if everybody actually cared if they just ate noodles for lunch. The only One that truly cares is the Lord. I'm tired of living a fake life. Trying to keep up with a front. I know I'm weak, unruly, and in desperate need of God's guidance. Why should I make it seem as if I have everything in control when I don't. From now on, if someone wants to keep in touch with me, they can either visit me, call me, write me a letter, or in some instances email me. However, I don't really like email all that much either. So the first three ways is pretty much all I will have to contact me. I want to be a genuine person. And I want to associate with others that I can reach in the same way. Call me crazy if you want, but I believe that I've done the right thing.

August 13, 2010

I'm sitting on my sofa at midnight after a long day at work and school drinking a glass of Jack Daniels. I'm tired and can easily fall asleep, but I feel like I need to write something. I feel both pissed off and enabled to succeed in greatness. I truly do not want to become like so many people I see everyday. Sometimes I fall into the same snares that bind them, but I know that I can defeat it. The only problem is that I must be firm in my resolution to stand on my principles no matter what the cost. I believe that I'm too cheery. Some people say that its a virtue, but I'm starting to realize that its a crutch. Something that numbs me to the reality of injustice and pain; both of which must be embraced if one would ever accept reality. The trouble that I see in myself is that as soon as I walk in the door at work, I try exceeding hard to please people. So much in fact, that I lose myself and my resolutions in the process. I must find a way to overcome this weakness. Now that I (at least to a greater degree) understand what true evil is and where it lies, I must fight it with a vigor like none other. It must not overtake me anymore, even if I must become a prude to defend my beliefs. I must defend myself from the conversations that diminish a man to a crust of bread. I must become my own man, and not what others would have me to be just to please them, no matter how sad they may seem. You see, we all struggle and groan together in this brief stay called life. But it doesn't give us the liberty to try to cover it up. Instead, it must be recognized, confronted, and defeated... every day. And I aim to accomplish this in my life from this point onward. Goodnight.

Memories...

I woke up this morning at an early hour wanting to accomplish a lot. I got out on the street and jogged my 8 miles, took a shower and grabbed a bite to eat. But when it came time to pick up my horn, I just wasn't feeling it. I tried to push through, but to no avail. So I put a new record I just picked up in D.C. on the player and listened to it. The album was an old Maynard Ferguson record that I first heard when I traveled with my High School Band director to Portland, Oregon for the first time to hear the Army Reserve band he was in. We stayed at his co worker's house. I remember he had a couple of cats, and he gave me free reign over his record player and albums. The Maynard album was the one I chose. I remember feeling a great excitement for music at that point in my life. And as I sat and listened to the album, I read the back of the sleeve while the music was playing. My grandpa never liked to read the sleeves while the record was playing. He said it took away from the listening experience. However, one of the beautiful things about being an individual is having your own opinion, and mine differs from him on this matter. After I read the sleeve, I smelled it. Now this may sound weird, but a record sleeve has a very unique smell to it, and when I smell one it brings me back to my grandparent's house, sitting for hours just listening to music. Flooded with memories at this point in the morning gave me the strength to pick up my horn one more time and take one more step toward virtuosity on the trombone. And not only that, but it gave me a renewed enjoyment for what I do for a living. I think its important for all of us to pull from past experiences and apply them to present circumstances to help us blossom even more in our endeavors. May your memories be as rich and pleasant as mine are. Goodnight.

The Fears That Bind Us.

I remember when I first joined the Navy I was scared to death. Scared of needles, paperwork, RDCs (essentially a drill Sergent), and countless other things. I had no idea what I was doing, and I really didn't want to be there when I first started. But as I became accustomed to the things that I feared, and as I woke up every morning with these things looking at me in the face, I realized that there wasn't really anything to fear, and I overcame them. I made it through the School of Music the exact same way, and found out that learning music isn't impossible or scary. There are a lot of good memories that I keep from those places; not because they were enjoyable, but because I grew, became stronger, and overcame my fears and ignorance. When I went to my first band I had fears of not fitting in, and not being a good enough trombone player. While most the people that I worked with had at least a bachelor's degree I didn't attend college for any length of time. Heck, I'd only had one private lesson my whole life. Now from my past experiences, one would conclude that I would simply overcome what fears I had, and grow stronger; but it wasn't the case in this instance. You see, the people that I worked with at the time fed into my fears. The environment was different. In Boot Camp and in school people know that you're ignorant and scared. They make it their business to help you overcome what you lack by pushing you on and encouraging you. But when you're out in the real world, you find out just how cold and barren it is. I don't want to say that people don't care, but that they don't take notice. I realized that people would talk about me not being good enough, not being smart enough, and many other things. This made me very bitter, and the love and passion that I had had my whole life for music became a dead thing that I hated and wanted nothing to do with. It made me not want to practice, hang around other musicians, or even listen to music. The excitement I once had for telling people I was a musician died, and I made it a point to never tell people that I was a musician. In short time I was sent for temporary assignment to be a cop that stood at the gate and checked people's IDs. I really didn't enjoy the work, but it was a relief to be away from the thing that I hated and feared. Nobody contacted me while I was assigned there except for one instance concerning the advancement exam. I was supposed to be there for 6 months, but I stayed for 8 thinking that I would ride out the rest of my enlistment, get out of the Navy, and go home to Oregon. Eventually, however, I was sent back to the band and told to start practicing my trombone again (which I didn't want to do) and prepare for gigs again. The bitterness had grown in my heart towards musicians and music so much at this point that I thought all musicians were cold, calculating back stabbers. I wanted nothing to do with them. However, I continued to do my job and practice as little as was possible to get by without getting in trouble. At some point in time, I started to like how it felt to play the trombone. I still didn't like the sound seeing as it was an instant reference to pain and bitterness, but it was a new kind of enjoyment. I suppose that if one must do a thing he or she loathes, eventually some enjoyment must be derived or insanity will set in (I might have a little of that as well). As time progressed I went through the normal peaks and valleys of life and decided that it would be possible to enjoy playing music for the rest of my enlistment, but I was in no way going to become fully dedicated to it as it had already scarred me in the past (or so I thought). But the more I practiced, the more I started enjoying the music. However, I still wasn't fully dedicated to staying in the Navy or becoming a lifelong musician. I enrolled in a vocational school and started planning on getting out. At some point in time, I started getting compliments in my playing. I don't remember when, but I remember it was new compared to my history of insults. This propelled me to want to practice more, and I felt more confident than ever about my trombone playing. Not to say I felt arrogant, but I felt secure to a degree. When I finally realized I didn't remain in the mire of people's malice, I started taking note of the "less than savory" players and how their attitudes aligned with mine loosely. Instead of being gently taken under an better player's wing and uplifted, I noticed that they were talked about behind their backs, laughed at, and even insulted to their faces in some cases. The saddest part about all this is that I joined in on some of these conversations (making me a hypocrite). A good friend of mine sobered me up thankfully and I started to understand the root of my original hatred of the musician business. The reason that I hated music is because the "educated" people took the art of music and made it solely a science. Instead of enjoying it and uplifting one another to become a better band, individuals would put one another down to both make themselves feel more confident and to make sure that all were aware of their education. Instead of experiencing the beauty of music; feeling it, smelling it, and tasting it; it was put on a shelf in a museum to be solely looked at and discussed. And to me this was and is a great tragedy. At this point in my life I believe that I've regained a true love for music, but I'm still unsure of a future with me in the Navy. I don't want to hate music ever again, and I don't want to become a (so called) "educated" person, thinking that just because they've sat through lectures and read books on the subject that they're better than others. I believe that if I do stay in, I will make it my personal business to combat that evil and ensure that others don't fall into the same ditch that I did. I believe that education is good, but I believe that humility is better. And hand in hand a world can change for the better for a good, long while.

The Purpose

Lately I've been having thoughts about why I go to work, or school. Why do get up in the morning. Why do anything. Solomon said it best in the book of Ecclesiastes (and I'm paraphrasing), "One man will sow while another will reap. A righteous man will acquire great wealth only to leave it to a wicked child." Everything that we invest in this life, if done to make wealth, glory, or even to support our family, will eventually end. We shall pass from this life, and all of our labour shall fade and fall like the pedals of a flower. Why then continue? It truly is a legitimate question, and one that deserves a good answer. From what I've been fed ever since I was a child, I should believe that I deserve to live a good life, acquire wealth, and really just live comfortably. But who made that rule? If we were to take every single person on this earth and strip them of all the comforts and securities that we all supposedly deserve, I believe that we would realize that none of us deserve any less than destruction. You can call me a pessimist, but you see it every day. Just go to work and listen to the conversations that take place. Most are fed up with one thing or another and love to complain. Backbiting, murmering, and lying is commonplace. People are definitely not satisfied. Depression is everywhere. Left to our own devices we become worse and worse. Something is missing. We inherently know it within our very souls. But what does it take to live a life worth while. Everything dedicated to the physical realm stays in it. However, we do not. If we limit ourselves to the pleasures of life, its easy to conclude that our entire existence is frivolous. The Bible says that he who follows frivolity is devoid of understanding. I think you know where I'm going with this, so let me just come out and say it. Ye must be borne again. Nothing within this life is worth holding onto because we can't keep anything in this life. Everything from your expensive house, to your very own life you will lose. It might be today, or it might be when you're 120 years old. Regardless of when, you are going to lose everything that you physically possess. Its important to realize our depravity. Its vital to our understanding to grasp the concept of living a life of death. If you are living in this life without being born of the spirit, then you are the living dead. A zombie destined to a life of death, and a fate worse than you could ever imagine. Try as you may, you shall never be able to escape such a fate of your own power, thoughts, or wealth. You and I are worthless creatures. Atheists say that a person that looks to a religion for salvation is a weak person. I totally agree. We are weaker than we realize. But there is a certain strength in weakness. Because in weakness, one realizes their need for a saviour. And all of us need one. Jesus said that He came to give life and give it more abundantly. But it doesn't come unless one is totally abandoned to Him. You must understand that it is His work in you and not your own works that save you. Its not a comfortable realization, but its the truth. He is the only reason for living. Otherwise we shall continue to grope in the darkness and stumble over things that have no meaning. Jesus was and is and shall be forevermore. God bless ya!

The Mightiest Force in The World.

I'm reading a book by a Christian Mystic named Frank C. Laubach. Its entitled "Prayer: The Mightiest Force in The World." In it, Dr. Laubach expands on the notion that spiritual occurrences have just as much validity as physical, or even more. He states that telepathy is just another force, such as electricity. Although it hasn't been studied as closely as electricity, it still is valid. He also states that by focusing prayers like machine gun bullets at people that you would to share the gospel with, it sets their hearts in the right stage for receiving the gospel. A year ago I would probably have thrown this book in the garbage and labeled it outlandish and taboo to say the least. But with what I've learned recently, it makes perfect sense and, in my opinion, lines up perfectly with the Word of God. Why is it that churches today operate like social clubs? Why is it that there's a church on every corner, yet no spiritual awakening is happening in our societies? We have forgotten how to "Walk in the Spirit." How I understand it, the spiritual realm has laws just as the physical realm does. Walking in this realm requires one to understand (at least) the basic principles that lie within. Otherwise, one wouldn't know which way was up or down, how to take a step forward, how to communicate, etc. We have become more scientifically minded, but at the same time we've rejected anything that can't be dissected by this "omnipotent science." A few hundred years ago, most of the world wouldn't believe that it was possible to harness the power of lighting and use it in applications imagination only could comprehend. Now we find it commonplace. To understand the spiritual realm, it takes a faith that says, "I may not understand at this point just how it all works down to the very atom of the spirit, but I believe that it does work, that it does exist, and that I can tap into it." It all boils down to one singular affirmation: Trust in Jesus and live, or trust in self and die. Everything else is just splitting hairs.

What We're Working For.

A couple of days ago at work, we had a send off for someone getting stationed in another band. She said something very profound when she was speaking to all of us. It was made very clear that she loved her job, and she said that she'd do it for free. We all had a good laugh and made some jokes, but it stuck with me. I've been pondering it ever since. I have an interesting job. You see, I'm an acoustical musician that plays (mostly) out of date music. The trick is, I get paid a salary for it. I'm very thankful for my job, but I also understand that canned music is on the rise and acoustical musicians are becoming rare these days. I never know what tomorrow might bring. But if I were to find myself out of work as a musician, I believe I would continue to make music the way I know how even if I wasn't paid for it. And as I continue to mull this over, I feel that its creating a deeper and more meaningful bond to that which I do for a living. Money has never been a great motivator for me anyway, but consciously thinking about the possibility of not getting paid to make music just makes it all the more beautiful. Its like my Grandpa always said, "Money may leave you, beautiful women may leave you, but music never will." Goodnight.

Who's Responsible?

I just found this written on a paper by my wife's hand:

"Last January we experienced some faulty electrical problems that resulted in frying a bunch of our hard earned appliances. It took us years to accumulate these things. Our 65" television, home theater, Wii, karaoke player, printer, oven, dryer, microwave, and our son's X-Box. We had insurance for the X-Box, but why? I didn't expect things that I already paid for to break within a couple years. My husband Leif is a wanna be Mr. Fix-it. He takes pride messing around with broken stuff, and it makes him happy when he sees the "Junkpot." Haha! I love the smile on his face. He initially tried to fix our dryer. He took it apart trying to find out what was wrong with it. And it was a simple fix. However, come to find out, its extremely hard to find the parts. Worse yet, it was cheaper to buy a new dryer than to fix our old one! Well, my husband doesn't surrender easily, so he took apart our television and home theater also. But it was the same heartache. THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!! Why? Who is responsible? WASTE! Landfills, toxic waste, environmental harm, air pollution, chemical spills, irresponsible manufacturing. We want a green earth, and yet we don't even know what frugal characteristics are! It leads to empty bank accounts. More work and less time for family and friends. There's no place in the world for a DIY guy anymore."

Lost In The Haze.

A lot of people that I know would call me an antique. I enjoy vintage items, old styles, and music that isn't really popular anymore. Plenty of jokes are perpetuated around my preferences, but I'd like to try and explain (at least to a degree) why I gravitate towards such things and styles. In our world today, we want the newest and coolest gizmo, the shiniest car, and the phone with an electric mirror in it (haha). The only problem with this mindset, in my opinion, is that while we continue to want more and more new products, the things that are already in our possession become neglected. In essence, we become so enthralled with whats next that we don't cherish what we've been blessed with already. The Bible says that the eyes of man are a bottomless pit. What that means to me is that no matter how much we accumulate, we'll never be satisfied with it. There will always be a covetousness for more. What I see in today's products is that they're not made to last anymore. And why should they be? Most people are going to throw everything away in a couple years anyway. But while this is the popular mindset these days, I don't agree with it. Not to say that I don't find new and cool things... cool, but that I try and understand that these things cannot bring me joy. And by living a life with that thought in mind, its possible to be content with what I have, and even enjoy what other people have thrown out. Heck, if a VHS tape was good enough for people to watch a movie on 15 years ago, why shouldn't it be good enough for me? I understand that I don't "deserve" the best. In reality, I don't have any "rights," and everything that has been a blessing in my life from my lovely wife to the fillings in my teeth from eating too much candy is simply by the grace of God. Instead of fumbling my way through the haze of what is next, I'll be not only content, but satiated finding treasure in what others would consider trash.

What Captures Our Hearts.

When I was in high school, I remember playing an NES game entitled "Astyanax." A great video game if I do say so myself. The plot is about a boy in high school that is summoned by a fairy to rescue a princess in a parallel dimension. The character is equipped with a sword, shield and a suit of armour to aid him in his quest to rescue the princess. Throughout the various levels of the game, the player is presented clips to view that tell the story of whats happening in the game more in depth. The dark lord is hell bent on destroying Astyanax (the character) and will stop at nothing to thwart his attempts. But the princess continues to beckon Astyanax! If you complete the game, the last clip shows the princess thanking Astyanax for saving her, and she sends him back to his own dimension. Of course, the first time I played this game, I was expecting Astyanax to marry the princess and stay in the parallel dimension with her. But just as I was about to turn off the game and cry myself to sleep, the clip shows the fairy enter Astyanax's dimension in human form and stay with him! This made me feel so happy that I could have jumped through the roof of my house! I didn't want to turn off the video game after watching that, and I actually didn't for about 20 minutes after. When I finally did turn it off, I felt a hole that made me want to curl up and die. Why couldn't this happen to me? I wanted to be summoned by a fairy, rescue a princess, then return to my own dimension with spoil! But it never happened. My point of writing all this is... this: Don't let wild fantasies capture your heart. Its not worth your energies, and all you'll get in the end is a handful of nothing. Games are nice, but they're not worth living for. Never forget who you are, and keep your feet on the ground. Blessings come from trusting in God, and hard work. See ya!

How Perpetuating Rasism Is Done.

I just read a Yahoo news article about some racist hate crimes being committed in San Diego, California. Its really horrible that these things are still going on in our country today, but are we really doing the right things to move past them, or are we actually fueling the fire? I once read a theory on how to overcome (seemingly) impossible problems in one's life. Supposedly, the reason that so many people fail to overcome problems (i.e. addictions, bad mind sets, etc.) is that a human being cannot just take something out of their life and call it a day. A hole is left in its place, and if its not filled with something else, the behaviours that the person had been trying to overcome would fill that hole right back up. The writer asserted that to effectively overcome a problem isn't by "fighting" against it, but by focusing the energies that were used to perpetuate the problem on something else (preferably more positive). To give an illustration, say a person is addicted to alcohol. Instead of "fighting" the urge to take a drink, the person should simply throw out all alcohol and buy mass quantities of chocolate milk, and drink some every time he or she craved alcohol. In essence, its a total elimination of the temptation altogether by simply keeping the same habit, but changing subjects. So what does all this have to do with racism? Horrible crimes have been committed in the past regarding race. And by what I've read today, they're still happening. But these are just the outward manifestations of what has already been brewing. All plants have a root system. I once heard a stand up comedian tell this joke, "When you walk down the street, black folks raise their head, look down at you and frown. White folks lower their head, look up at you and smile." Everyone broke out in laughter. This is just one of many "jokes" that I've heard that have been totally accepted by the public at large. However, I believe that these seemingly small deals are what keeps the ball rolling concerning racism. What is a "white" or "black" or "brown" folk? They're people. All of us are the same. As long as we keep the idea that races are what designate us from other kinds of people, racism is still alive and kicking. I strongly believe that to overcome racism, we need to focus on something else, and just forget about "races" altogether. We're people, that's it. And every last one of us is unique.

Cynisism or Realism?

There was a movie released a few years ago entitled "About Schmidt." Its about some guy that retires from working in an office all his life. Hes worked hard all his life for his retirement, and he finally gets to enjoy his retirement life with his wife of 30 years (or something like that). However, the first week of his retirement, his wife dies and he realizes that he has to go on for the rest of his life without her. A couple of days later, he gets a card in the mail about supporting some starving orphan in a third world country. So out of his desperation, he responds to the ad and starts writing a boy named Ndugu. Throughout the movie he tries to find meaning to his life through traveling to different places and visiting his family members. To make a long story short, he doesn't find meaning. There is no meaning to his life. He worked all his life for an empty promise. The great retirement that he'd been looking forward to all those long years turned out to be worse than any reality he could have imagined. This movie really hit home base with me. I love meeting different people, and seeing what they're like. I love to learn from them. When I tell various people that I'm in the Navy, they tell me that I should definitely stay in for 20 years and reap the wonderful benefits of retirement life. How wonderful, they say, it would be to have the government take care of all my needs for the rest of my life. I just smile and say that I'm still thinking about it. Of course, I don't want to offend. But, you see, reality has a funny way of sobering up dreams of grandeur. Lets say that a perfect retirement did work out. I would retire at age 41. And if I actually lived to be 120 years old (perfect world right?), that would give me 79 wonderful years of retirement checks to reap. Then what? How fast time really flies. I can remember before I could walk being pushed in the stroller by my Grandpa. It seems like yesterday. Time flies so much faster than we would like to imagine. But lets even forget about the limitations of time. Lets say I had 1000 years of retirement. It wouldn't give me meaning. In my experience, every time I solve one problem, there are multiple more waiting for me. I used to work part time at an upper class retirement home. Very prestigious, well to do people lived there. I knew one guy that used to be a rocket scientist for NASA in the 1960s. He worked on the first rockets to go to the moon! I knew another lady whose husband used to be Secret Service for 40 years of Presidents. If ever I could find someone to show me what real retirement living was like, it would surely be these people. But they didn't have the answer. If you've ever been to a retirement home, I'm sure you've noticed people in their worst conditions. Depression is rampant. Embarrassment is commonplace. Prestige is forgotten. My point: Retirement life is a lie. You retire when you're dead, and no sooner. There will always be pain. There will always be impossible difficulties to face. There is no rest in this life. There's a book in the Bible entitled Lamentations. It was written about 5000 years ago by a guy named Solomon. The book is all about how futile this life really is. No matter what great accomplishments we achieve, it means nothing. We will die, and we will be forgotten by this world. No matter what we try to do, this life holds nothing for us. And I think that all people, if they're honest with themselves, will find this to be true. I plan on going into greater detail with this subject in a future post, but for now I'll leave you with this thought: The only life worth living is one that is given completely to others. No vain glory. No self seeking. And here's the kicker: Its impossible to do. See ya.

The Butterfly Effect.

Self discipline is a funny thing. While its mostly thought of as a situation by situation choice, I believe that its an all encompassing life style choice. There's an old Chinese theory called the Butterfly Effect (Hollywood actually made a movie about it). It generally states that the flapping of a butterfly's wings on one side of the world makes a difference on the other side (there's a lot more to it, but we'll leave it at that for this blog entry). That being said, it would stand to prove that all things are interconnected. Lets take this huge theory down a few notches and apply it to our lives, namely concerning self discipline. While we all go through our peaks and valleys in life, some experience them more than others. Regardless of what level roller coaster we ride, I believe that we can maintain more of an even keel and see goals (or whatever else) reach their end without hesitation. How this is accomplished is by applying self discipline to every area of our lives. To take an instance of how this is to be understood, brushing our teeth 2 to 3 times every day (depending on your preference) makes a difference when going to work every day. Stated simply, if we can be disciplined in the small matters, then the big matters won't be quite as enormous as we once thought them. Understanding that every action, thought, deed and word has bearing on who we are and what we shall accomplish is a sobering thought. Nonetheless, I believe that as each of us understands this and applies it, a life of dreary defeats and depression can turn into a life of victory and optimism.

Why Do We Do What We Do?

I've recently took up listening to Country and Western music. In the past I've always shied away from it because I thought that it was cheesy and lacked the intricacies that other genres contained. Essentially, I chocked it up as a waste of my time. However, I'm learning more about myself and the world around me. In the past, I've never really felt a conviction towards the types of music that I play for a living. Not to say that I don't enjoy the music I play, but just that it doesn't have a deepness to it. You must understand that this realization has been hard for me to confront, but I'm trying to be more and more truthful with myself, and I'd like to have convictions for all the endeavors I undergo. In my limited experience, Country music contains something that most others don't: Life experiences. When I listen to the stories told be these musicians (older recordings mostly), I find that they pour their hearts out beyond anything that most people would be comfortable doing (especially men). Albeit, most the songs that I've listened to don't have screaming trumpet lines, or crazy guitar solos, but these songs contain (in my opinion) the essence of what music should be. I've realised that with music (not just Country and Western), one can really tell how they feel. It doesn't have to be about releases of notes, or intonation, or even how many beats per measure. True music (as I'm coming to realise) is a spiritual connection that transcends anything that any person can Analise or write down. Its a way to tell your story, even if nobody listens. If you were to ask me what the purpose of music was... I don't think that I could tell you at this point (there just might be too many purposes). But I do know that true music should always be motivated by our life experiences, and it should tell our story... even if the song wasn't written by us. We may all be human, but music can make us individuals.

Running, Running, and Running Some More.

I'm trying to get ready for a marathon in March. However, I've never ran a formal race in my life, and getting ready for a marathon is quite an undertaking. Nonetheless, I feel I must achieve this goal no matter how frustrating or discouraged I become. It's kind of like in The Legend of Zelda when you're in the sixth dungeon. All of those wizards are popping up and shooting you, so you kill a bunch of those plunger guys and moblins to save up enough bread to buy the magical shield for 90 rupees in the secret tree store and defend yourself. But, lo and behold, the wizard's magic waves make your shield that you paid 90 friggin' rupees for disappear! These kinds of situations can make you want to throw the Nintendo out the window. But, determined as you are to finish the game, you persevere! Maybe a few lives later you beat the sixth dungeon and come out feeling like you could take on Ganon with only the wooden sword and three hearts. By being in this situation a gazillion times (since I'm an NES nut) I know that while trying to prepare for this marathon, things will come up to try and kill my resolve. But I also know the end result of my efforts: Completing the Triforce and saving the princess!

Ride The Wave.

First of all, let me just state that I'm ranting on some crazy thought that just popped into my head and it doesn't quite all piece together yet. I do believe however that in time everything will. I've been having quite a few of these "crazy thoughts" lately and its high time I shared a few with you all. So here we go. The first law of thermodynamics states that energy cannot be destroyed, only changed from one state to another. I was just watching a video of someone swimming. He only could have swam from one place to another from first pushing his hands against the water to propel himself forward, and then return his hands to the starting position by following the path of least resistance, otherwise, he would have just been suspended within the water without accomplishing any work and never going anywhere. That's aerodynamics and thermodynamics mixed, but for some reason it sparked something in my brain. Chew on this though. If the universe is essentially "wearing out," then why can't we reinvigorate it on a molecular level by following the path of least resistance. If it were possible to (to lend from the swimming analogy) return our hands to the "starting position," we may very well be able to tap into an energy source that is much more efficient than rocket propulsion seeing as it does quite the opposite... following the path of least resistance. Nicola Tesla supposedly created an Earthquake Machine. It operated by sound waves. It would strike and object at a certain Hz. The sound wave would travel down to the end of the object and then back to the starting point where the striking emanated from. At that exact moment, the Earthquake Machine would strike the object again amplifying the sound wave. It would do this over and over again until the wave was so great that it could collapse a building. The sound waves followed the path of least resistance thus creating an amplitude far greater than any that the little Earthquake Machine (which could fit in the palm of your hand) would ever have been expected to produce. Instead of forcing something to go, we could simply... ride the wave. Just a thought.

Is Being an Introvert a Bad Thing?

I've discovered that most times I'm with other people to just "hang out" I find myself bored to tears or just not in the mood to be there. I have reasons for feeling this way of course, but it bothers me that I'm not very good at chillin'. Now don't get me wrong, I love being around people and its most enjoyable to go to restaurants or movies with a big group of people. I have a problem specifically with hanging out with people for no reason or to just sit around and do nothing, and yet, I always find myself in this sort of situation. I think its because the people that I know and actually hang out with on my spare time just aren't interested in the same things that I am. That being said, I don't know many who are. I'm not too akin to discussing why some football team lost last week and how big of a blow on everyone it is. I don't really like talking about problems at work or whatever other complaints people have. Its useless! I'd much rather talk about things that make sense and have bearing on our lives in applicable ways. I like talking about philosophy because it actually pertains to us as humans. I like playing Nintendo because it makes me happy and I feel at ease when I'm playing. Cooking does the same thing for me and I love cooking while people are around and talking about it also. I know I'm a dork, but I'm not afraid to be one. I don't have to prove to others how much of a man I am by talking about sports all day long. Theres more in this world than whats going on in the television. Why do we all have to be lemmings, following each other everywhere. I like to break off from same old thing and discover new and interesting ways of looking at and doing things. I know that I'm ranting now, but it really is distressing to me that so many people have limited vision. For now, I feel like an introvert, and maybe I am one. Prove me wrong.

Broken NES

A couple of months back, we had a power surge at my house that took out a large portion of my appliances. **sob sob... cry cry** My regular Nintendo was one of the appliances (which pissed me off more than the oven or microwave). However, I'm not one to let a bad experience get the best of me. When life gives you lemons.... make a portable NES!!! Theres a step by step guide at instructibles.com that you can follow and make a Nintendo into (essentially) a Game Boy that plays NES games. Seeing as the regulator is probably the thing that went bad, I'd have to desolder a bunch of stuff anyway. So I figure its prime time for my NES to undergo a transformation. I have the technology. I can rebuild it! I'll keep you all posted on how it comes along.

The Main Character.

The Bible says that without a vision, the people perish. So here's a vision for myself. A lot, if not most people that I run into would (at least in some form) like to gain exceeding riches, become famous, or just be somebody that everyone looks at with envy. Obviously this is a very broad claim and I'm sure that there are a lot of variances within, but just stick with me and it'll make sense. I wanted it to a degree for some time as well (and may still in some way that I'm not aware of), but I'm starting to realize where true virtue for my life lies. There's a Super Nintendo game that I'm very fond of called Earthbound. You start with a main character named Ness. After you progress you collect three other companions in your travels throughout the game. I always imagined myself as Ness, and the other companions as my family or friends. Surely though, I was the main person in the game. Heck, why not right? I'm playing it after all. As time has passed however, I've realised that I'm more like one of the sub characters named Jeff. He is the nerd in the group, doesn't have many powers, and has to rely on items to get along in the game with some form of power. However, when the rest of the party is asleep he fixes different things that you wouldn't be able to complete the game without. Nobody sees him do his work, and yet it is instrumental in the mastery of the game. He may very well be the most important character in the game, unbeknownst of course to the rest of the party. After thinking about this for some time I've realised that his form of achievement is the same that I would like to accomplish in my life. While everybody struggles for the spotlight in life, there are people unknown to the world that make achievement possible for others, and without those people doing their part the main characters just wouldn't matter. I find virtue in the fact that I can be the muscle that moves the arm, while the others, while they have an important role as well, are just the epidermis. In short, I'd rather be Dr. Light than Mega Man. G'nite!

Why Popular Trends Irritate Me.

I just read a review on the new Ipad. It looks like a computer that has less features, doesn't fold up to protect itself, and costs a lot of money. Yet, all the reviews on the post were in favour of it over the Kindle or the Nook. Why is this I ask myself. The charm of the latter two (in my humble opinion) is that they are simple in design, cost a reasonable price, and do what they say. I'm really not anti-Apple, but I try to be a realist when it comes to things and frankly, Steve Jobs has everyone following him like the Pied Piper. The Ipod, and the Iphone were both amazing leaps as far as technology is concerned and I'll give him props for them, but for the Ipad... Sorry dude, it just sucks. I don't want a reader that turns into a helicopter and flys me to Steve Jobs' house so that I can pay him 14.99 a month to access the internet that I already have. I want a reader that I can buy and download books to for the simple price of the book alone and read it. Thats what a reader is.... right?

First Blog

Hi all! Well this is my first attempt at a blog. We'll see how I do. I'm attending mechanic's college to try to fix all of my cars. Married with 3 kids and I work in the U.S. Navy as a trombone player. One of my great fixations is the regular NES (hence the name). I'll see about writing more on here later but I'd like to see how this all comes out once I publish it. See ya!